Back in...

Going to a much needed holiday at the beach. I deserve it. Will be back when the shower no longer provides the capability to wash the salt off my body.

Have my phone if you get lonely, but I know that more civilized areas have less reception, so don't count on any text messages arriving straight away.

If war breaks out while I'm gone, become suicide bombers to win the war and I'll find replacements for all of you when I get back. Except Izzy... Don't blow yourself up... Can't get a replacement.

Keep out of trouble!

Bones

Did the whole "family" thing today and went to the Melbourne Museum.

Lots of interesting exhibits for all really.

An Aboriginal history section, if you haven't quite had your fix yet from every other museum in Australia yet, which is actually quite detailed and informative.

That Forest thing, which is an actual forest in a nice cage so nothing escapes. Couple of nice doo-hickeys and thing-a-ma-bob's growing out of the ground and living in the water in it... Like fish... And poisonous snakes... But beware of the eels, I'm told they bite...

Bugs, if that's your thing. You can watch those bull ants drag dead ants out of a nest, round the ground for a bit, then back in their nest... I spent about thirty minutes mesmerised by the little buggers...

Marine life, which included a giant squid (seriously, I've caught bigger squid fishing off the Moonta jetty...). Also for those who don't know, the blue ringed octopus has a tetradotoxin... I learnt that not from the exhibit, but from the ambulance people that escorted the person to hospital who asked me to "Look at the beautiful blue rings on this octopus" that they held in their hand... Stupid fuck...

Right next to that, some trippy 3D exhibit, which nothing to explain the tricks of the mind and how 3D illusions work, but instead was determined to freak me out by reminding me about how freaking big the universe is... Seriously guys, how depressing for science guys like me, knowing that no matter what crap we EVER do in our lives, we're never even going to scratch the surface of our knowledge... At least it motivated me to learn more, like quantum physics more... Unfortunately it did it too late... AFTER I'd finished VCE... Gonna have to work on that...

Outside of that, some dead horse with a big dick... I think I saw its heart in Canberra when I was there... It won't be running far it seems...

Upstairs, after sprinting through the dinosaur exhibit (they're just freaking bones for Christ sake...) it was the human body... Wondrous naked bodies everywhere up here... Saw a young teenage girl get her picture taken with a worryingly realistic naked teenage female dummy... None of the naked girls in these exhibits looked as good as the one that's my wallpaper, which doesn't even come close to the one I've had in my bedroom occasionally... Noticed that guys outnumbered girls, six to one, in the sexual reproduction section, and shuddered when a little kid shouted out for all to hear "Wheeee... Tadpoles!!!" Those ain't tadpoles buddy; they're half of what you are... Skipped briefly through the incredibly morbid "we used to cut up dead bodies for SCIENCE" propaganda (already converted...). Only then did I notice I was being followed by intestines... Great...

On the other side, back past those unblinking naked people, and those obsessed with them, was the mind exhibition... I stress test informed me my brother was normal (phew, what a relief) but I was calm, not that I needed a machine to tell me I walk around half asleep most of the time... I wonder if I would have got a reading at all if I'd taken Valium first. I stood in a "pod" for three minutes, where someone abused me for cutting the queue, and someone else threw up. Just great people... Good to see we've got it together... Highlight of the mind exhibition, the "dream couches," where they get you to lie down and experience a dream... Would be a hell of a lot easier if they didn't force a TV in your face that does nothing but show a cloud simulation... All I wanted to do was sleep, and all they wanted to do was show me the freaking sky... After the alarm clock went off, or maybe it was that kid untying my laces, not sure which, I got up and peeked into holes two feet from the floor showing possible "normal" dreams... Yeah, cause we all regularly enjoy dreaming of looking like a little plastic figurine running along a dark alleyway... Or enjoy the experience of having a bird crap on your head (he was smiling...). I endured about thirty seconds of a movie on depression before I wanted to kill myself and instead gazed over the massive dead whale that found its way into the main hallway.

Seriously, I've caught bigger... (And for those of you who remember year nine, you'll probably also remember her name).

Gift shop had nice frosted shot glasses, but they had some crap with that horse again on its side... Plain frosted shot glasses look best, when will you learn?

And a CD rack for CD's that don't have cases, which is all of mine... At $20 a rack, I can think of better places to spend $20 and get more than just a good rack... The butchers... What were you thinking I was thinking?

However, I'm not complaining about my day in the slightest. Between all the stuff that stuff I described above there was solid, whole-hearted knowledge, and you can't complain about that... Also can't complain about prices: Free for kids under 16, free for anyone who can pull a concession card out of their... wallet... and only six bucks for those who should not take their clothes off in public without getting arrested.

So you've been tasked with your little brother, sister, cousin, neighbour or all of the above at once for the day? Take them to the museum, but glue a tracker device on them or something, or you'll spend more time trying to find them, as opposed to learning, which is the main feature of this place... Mostly it's morbid curiosity and a desire to look at naked bodies for the older kids, and a desire to poke bugs, plants and other slimy stuff for the younger ones... Plus sex... Everyone enjoyed the sex... I know I did...

Limited Information

Which pretty much sums up what photo's I can show you of Rosebud and our trip away.

Most of the pictures have been withheld, not because the actions depicted were illegal, just not required to tell a story...

So I was bartender, which was a lot of fun. Especially as Al paid for most of the alcohol... Cheers buddy... Amelia, Nick, Izzy and I went to the beach one day, which was a nice calming experience. Al and CVP stayed home to inspect the TV for subliminal messages, reports show that there several messages hidden, including a request from many for "MORE!!!"

Luke was our wonderful host, who ended up mowing the lawns himself. He didn't have to, but did it anyway... Sophie stayed a few days too, adding to our numbers, except in the mornings when she'd disappear for a few hours to check the surf. We had a water fight, and got pretty wet... We slept in, and stayed up late... We gave Al something of a male version of a make-over, with a new sleek black hair colour and a waxing of the back of his neck. Learnt some things about each other on "Truth or truth" night, cause no one could think of any dares (Though I've thought of several now that it's all over... I reckon watching Christiaan run up one of those hills would have been worth it).

Definitely a time worth remembering, plenty to take out of it...

And today we got our VCE results... Did almost exactly as I predicted, with two surprises:

One – English; I really kinda hate English, and sorta didn't try at all for it... So why the hell did I get a 39 for the subject???

Two – Electrotech; expected a little more from this one really, mainly because I know I'm better than the 43 I got. Though depending on the number of students that actually did Electrotech in the state, that 43 could still be the top grade (last year's top grade was 49, then 47, then 45, then 43).

Other subjects were really as expected, my 33 in Methods CAS got scaled up to a 40 and a 34 in Chemistry also went up to a 39.

Coupled with my subjects from last year, Biology and Geography, I pulled a solid 91.55 as my ENTER.

Which clearly fulfils my requirement of a 72.10 to get into Engineering at RMIT (it's the longest course name in the paper, if you want to know which Engineering).

Happy? Don't know... Hasn't sunk in yet... Maybe it never will... It is only four digits and a decimal place afterall... And if you don't get what you want this year, you do a year of something else and transfer... Doesn't count for anything really... Does it?

Complaint Letter

To the development department, particularly the people specialising in the creation of Chickens, Turkeys and other birds that we eat:

I recently purchased a quarter chicken and chips for a dinner time meal from my local chicken shop. The chips were in ample proportion but that really has nothing to do with your department. I am writing to question the amount of meat that was in my quarter chicken.

I do not believe this to be the fault of the chicken shop, the piece of meat sold to me was clearly a quarter of a chicken. They had even provided me with the leg piece, notorious for having more meat than the wings. Even so, upon consumption, a mere two mouthfuls of meat were available.

Granted, the time it took me to find and eat these minor portions took the same amount of time it takes to eat a full three course meal in a fancy restaurant, but that was due to the difficulty in removing the food from the bone.

This raises my next grievance, the difficulty that people worldwide suffer with removing meat from chicken. It hides between bones, between gristle and in cartilage. This is clearly a manufacturing and development error in your behalf, as the development team for cows, pigs and most other food managed to please their consumers with easy to cut, easy to find, large portions of meat. I have never encountered difficulty in finding one whole mouthful of meat from a cow and their development team has my full regards. From your team there has been a countless number of times I have spent fifteen minutes cutting out multiple small sections of meat to make a mouthful, only to find that there is bone or cartilage in my mouth.

To be fair, you have correctly addressed the flavour of your product, as many other developments teams are attempting to copy your excellent work (The escargot team for example) and I do not wish for this desirable nature of chicken to change. I do wish, however, for you to address the issues described above. A possible suggestion as to how to address this problem could be to make the chickens larger, about seven feet tall should do it, which would create larger portions of uninterrupted meat.

Thank you for your time in pursuing this issue.

Milestones

So yesterday was a very special day! Did anyone pick it?

Yes, I went to the Dentist. Yes, I drove out to Donvale. Yes, I went to this "The Glen" place for the first time. Yes, I travelled into the city and back, simply to get a uniform for work next week. Yes, I was delayed by half an hour by Connex because of a signal fault or some shit like that. And yes, I spent my evening with Izzy.

None of this however celebrated my blog's first birthday...

It has evolved since it first appeared on the net, but still has the same blue "tic-tac" look to it (that's the name of the template). It's written about everything, from disasters to celebrations... And just like my blog has evolved, so have I in the last year (either it followed me or I followed it, haven't decided yet...).

Not only was yesterday its first birthday, but this post is its fiftieth... Which means that a new post has appeared every week or so... Never feels like it...

So over this time, there's been a whole heap of interesting searches from Google which have pointed people here. Three people have searched for my laptop with an interest in installing Ubuntu on it... I hope that goes well for them. One wants to know if Luke Hawley is an alcoholic (Shoulda sent me an e-mail). Two people have been interested in changing their screen resolutions on a favour of Linux I use. Someone was curious on "black tails, yellow tails" on YouTube, whatever that might be... Someone was searching for "Girls eighteenth birthday party ideas." Good for them, hope it was a blast! Heaps of people have been curious as to where that fucking burn button is in iTunes... And, quite bizarrely, someone is having trouble because their "chocolate music won't unmute..."

Congratulations to my blog for living its first year, congratulations to it again for its fiftieth post, and a very special, loud and vocal congratulations to every person that has visited it over this time, written a comment, or downloaded something from the box.

Oh, and a Nation voted today... La-dee-da...

How much is that Doggie in the window?

So I've finished my exams now. If you ask me how I did in any of them, I've forgotten already... I've decided that there are better things in life than a high ENTER score. I do, however, need a high score, in more ways than one, and NONE of them to get into university. Now that it's done completely, finally and forever, I need to know I made the right choices this year for myself. I'm looking forward to getting blind drunk at the next available opportunity to celebrate choices, hopefully the right ones...

Ryan's Party was last night. Heaps of fun! I only have to say that without any bug stuff, without any vinegar, without jumping up and down like an idiot last night, I received one mozzie bite. Only one. On my thumb... Reinforcing my "soft skin" theory again...

But I've got a soft spot for our new puppy. He's a Cardigan Welsh Corgi (the same type the Queen breeds) and his name is Harry (Pedigree name: Cambrian Make My Day). He's full of energy and is bouncing off everything already. I'm going to have to hide my new shoes if I don't want them to become destroyed. Afrika is sceptical about the new arrival, but he'll just have to get used to the new fella, even if he shows Afrika up a few times. I've got photos of young Harry in the box just here, and some photos of Ryan's party down the very bottom.

What’s that Lassie? James has been busy? We’ve gotta save him!!

Yeah, trapped down a well or something...

So I've had a bunch of exams since my last post, and I've still got a few more. Let's revise over them shall we:

• English – The one subject I viewed as the biggest waste of my time was just that, a waste of my time. The exam was easier than I thought it would be and I'm happy to announce that I did NOT study for English... In fact, I did not willingly write any essays all year. Any essays that I did write were SAC's or trial exams. I'm guessing my study sore will be about 32 or 33 in this subject, which is about what I've been hoping for...
  
• VET Electrotechnology – Ah yeah... IF you could call that an exam it was not difficult in the slightest. Please regurgitate some basic electronics, easy. Please draw lines to connect these batteries, easy. Please read this graph by telling us what happens at when the time is zero, easy. Please copy the picture above, easy. And most of those questions are worth five marks or more!!! If you're looking for an easy subject with no homework, you've found it. Estimated study score: 47+ and the Premier's Award (quite probably 50, but they didn't give one last year).
  
• Math Methods CAS Exam #1 (Tech Free) – The one exam I've feared since year nine was everything it was hyped up to be I reckon. I didn't do badly, just ran short of time. And it was a fair bit longer than I expected it to be... That's ok though because tomorrow I have:
  
• Math Methods CAS Exam #2 (Tech Active) – This will be fun, I'm looking forward to going in there, answering it all and walking out to hear everyone whine like they always do. Math is my strong point, assuming I have a fancy calculator to do all the fiddly bits on (seriously, who does that unit circle shit in their head? And why?). I'm hoping to get around 35 for Methods, remembering that it's harder to get a better score in CAS (cause more smart people do it) and I did sort of shit on the tech free, but that mark could very easily be a 39 as well. Oh, and if I haven't told you enough already, CAS is harder and hence gets scaled more, so don't tell me it's easier cause we have a fancy calc, we have to LEARN more :P
  
• Finally, Chemistry – This is my wildcard at the moment. I'd like to place this in my top four, with English, VET Electrotechnology and Biology (or Methods if it makes it) but it could quickly. Did well on my trial in comparison to everyone else, but I didn't do that well on it (if that makes sense). Need to learn that whole redox/electrochemical series stuff and how to use it, especially as half the paper will be on it. I'll read my text book Tuesday and Wednesday probably. Estimated Study Score of about 38 – 42, but could be as low as 35.
  

Also, I've got myself a job recently. I'm now a food and beverage attendant, which is a fancy name for waiter. I've worked three days now at Flemington during the races and its lots of fun but really tiring:

• Saturday 3^rd November – First day of work. This was by far the toughest day. I was working in the birdcage which is a corporate like area. Each company has this tiny footprint the size of a shoebox and builds an ultra-modern square thing in it. They then go and invite everyone they know and cram them into that tiny room they've just built. I was working in the Longines corporate shoebox, where the manager or something has some special ties with the company I was working for or something. So when a usual function has one waiter per twenty-five guests, this function had one per ten guests, to make sure the best service was offered. Longines is some overseas watch company (we think it was Swiss) and hance had boxes built into the walls to display their products to the people who were already aligned to their way of life (EVERYBODY had an accent and had just got off a first-class overseas flight that morning). My supervisor was so tight... He had a ruler out before the guests arrived and was measuring the distance of the glasses from the edge of the bar to match them perfectly on both sides... Talk about tight... So I'm given a marble platter, about 3cm thick, 40cm square, and it weighs a tonne. They go and pile it up with food, dips and some stupid decoration, tell me to carry it with one arm and place napkins arranged all decoratively in the other hand. Hold the platter out from the body and go and serve the food, don't come back till it's empty. So I spent my day in a hot, tight, crowded room with my arm shaking, yelling "excuse me" or "would you like some fresh prawn cutlets with mango and lime dip?" or some other gourmet food to the guests. I had one break, eight hours into my shift, no lunch, and no water all day...
  
• Tuesday 6^th November – Melbourne Cup. This was the complete opposite of my first day. Assigned to the Phar Lap enclosure I was expecting more loud noise and drunken people. Instead, I was blessed with a nice plasma television nearby, and a collection of old people helped by a young generation (about 25ish). I was working the buffet, which meant I got to stand there and dish out whatever crap was in the thing. "Beef, Glazed Virginia Ham, Spinach and Fetta Pie and over here we have Chicken." Of course, if you read the menu in front of you I wouldn't have had to repeat myself 400 times (800 guests, and I seemed to repeat it every couple). But I had a good work mate, a New Zealand Chef who was supposed to make the food look all fancy and fresh by cutting the meat up while I served it. I explained to him what a stubby was (I still don't think he believes me...) and together we sussed out the turf, provided the "I got a spot for you right here under the counter" commentary and did the whole "who would you fuck from that table?" thing. Heaps of fun. Plus I had dessert for lunch.
  
• Saturday 10^th November – Emirates Stakes Day. Originally I was working as a bartender in the Ascot enclosure for "Make a Wish Foundation" but then got moved after an hour of work to "The Cancer Council" tent, also in the Ascot enclosure. And after a total of 3 minutes working there, I got moved again to Trackside, which is quite literally track side. On a raised platform on the bend just after the finish line, we were within a distance to drop items onto the track, or throw them at the horses that just lost our money. The setup here was like the Longines suite, but it wasn't as corporate and everything was more spread out with more room. Again, the audience was a little older than Longines, which made life quite enjoyable. The blokes drank beer and the chicks drank champagne. The older people all drank mixed drinks. The atmosphere was light and relaxed, though I did some grazing again (damn heavy platters... these weren't as bad though). One of the younger girls (about 25) had me follow her friend around with food all day, just for fun. Another one was insistent on giving me tips for being the opposite gender presents (she was really trying to get me to spend $1000 on a Tiffany's anklet...). A group of adults kept asking me to leave the platters at their table, which I can't do, so instead I just stood there at their table chatting while they finished off a basket of dim sim's or whatever it was. Another group kept wanting me to sit and actually share a beer or two (or twelve in one hour by my count). A set of older ladies were quite impressed when I offered to cut the queue at the bar for them and bring the drinks straight to their table (when in fact it gave me an excuse to stand around for five minutes instead of carry food). And some lucky bugger in our tent spent $2 on a quinella, and won it, winning $604,000. Damn, I'm jealous...
  

So that's my recent happenings. With a few more to go exams to go and Ryan's party thing on Saturday, there should be another one of these next Sunday, but no promises... After all, there will be a new puppy which might be stealing my attention...