Complaint Letter

To the development department, particularly the people specialising in the creation of Chickens, Turkeys and other birds that we eat:

I recently purchased a quarter chicken and chips for a dinner time meal from my local chicken shop. The chips were in ample proportion but that really has nothing to do with your department. I am writing to question the amount of meat that was in my quarter chicken.

I do not believe this to be the fault of the chicken shop, the piece of meat sold to me was clearly a quarter of a chicken. They had even provided me with the leg piece, notorious for having more meat than the wings. Even so, upon consumption, a mere two mouthfuls of meat were available.

Granted, the time it took me to find and eat these minor portions took the same amount of time it takes to eat a full three course meal in a fancy restaurant, but that was due to the difficulty in removing the food from the bone.

This raises my next grievance, the difficulty that people worldwide suffer with removing meat from chicken. It hides between bones, between gristle and in cartilage. This is clearly a manufacturing and development error in your behalf, as the development team for cows, pigs and most other food managed to please their consumers with easy to cut, easy to find, large portions of meat. I have never encountered difficulty in finding one whole mouthful of meat from a cow and their development team has my full regards. From your team there has been a countless number of times I have spent fifteen minutes cutting out multiple small sections of meat to make a mouthful, only to find that there is bone or cartilage in my mouth.

To be fair, you have correctly addressed the flavour of your product, as many other developments teams are attempting to copy your excellent work (The escargot team for example) and I do not wish for this desirable nature of chicken to change. I do wish, however, for you to address the issues described above. A possible suggestion as to how to address this problem could be to make the chickens larger, about seven feet tall should do it, which would create larger portions of uninterrupted meat.

Thank you for your time in pursuing this issue.