The Shit List

Allow me to introduce this.

I'm collecting number plates of cars that drive dangerously on the road, or generally give Melbourne the title of "Worst Drivers in Australia"

While it would be obvious to stick myself on this list, I at least know when my behaviour on the road will effect other users. These people, do not.

I can't believe I have to do a general shout-out of some commonly dangerous behaviour on Melbourne's roads:

Drifting across lanes while turning a corner when there are other cars nearby is something that really pisses me off, and every person that does it, gets on the "shit list."

Tailgating is another dangerous one, that all too many do. Count to two, start at zero. Time starts at zero, not one. If you're a P-plater, add half a second. If you're tired, add a second. If it's wet, add a second. If the radio is on, add half a second. Yes, all add significantly to the time it takes to brake.

Also, driving in the wrong lane/driving too slow. Yes, I understand that you're "playing it safe" but that means you should be in the left lane so other road users can over take you. Doing fifty in the right lane on a two (or more) lane road where the limit is seventy is dangerous. That means you, users of Nepean Hwy (where it's eighty, but doing fifty past Southland seems to be the norm). If you must drive slow, then the left lane is the place to be.

Indicators! Oh my... It's a little stick that points out from the steering wheel, very close to your hands. Use it! With some advance too! Don't worry you'll use it too much, at least then others on the road will know you're planning on doing something. Use it well before turning.

School zones. I'm tough on this because I was still there recently. And if I'm driving in two lanes at forty in a sixty zone when it's school time, it's probably because I'm forcing you to slow down. This does not give you entitlement to flash your high beams, toot your horn and tailgate me. If you're doing all that, it means you're on the shit list. Tough.

These are the top few things that annoy me while driving.

I won't put L-platers on the shit list because they're still learning. I won't take people off the list. I know I break them myself sometimes (never speeding in School Zones or driving in the wrong lane too slow though) so you don't need to point out that no one is perfect, I already know. This list is for drivers who did something that put me or my passengers at risk without realising it.

So, welcome to the shit-list:
RZG266
S1LK (oh seriously...)
RPE967
SRR001
QEX968
FLZ055 (this person would get here twice if I could do it)
QBC112
DEBDOM (yes, I saw you, tailgating me there with your flashing headlights in that school zone, welcome to 40km/h).
WHH438
SSB890
UXU348
JAY72A
UUV587
WDP353 (120km/h is a dangerous speed to be closer than two meters to my rear bumper, just a pointer)
TLO509
TKG036
OEJ725
TBY514
M7015
OQD129
OXL057
SUW088

I'll be adding to this as time goes by of course.

Til next time.

Conversation Starter #2

Ok, I planned this to be a fortnightly thing, but at the moment I'm kinda bored at home, so I thought I might give you another to play with.

I didn't know then but I do now...

That the string on a party popper will not burn like a wick, and then "pop" when it reaches the base. I also found out that melted plastic all over your legs is painful. This is what happens when you give a boy a packet of matches...

Oh! I have another!

I didn't know then but I do now...

That the speed limit on the Princes Freeway to Geelong was 100km/h; not 110km/h. It's a Freeway, it's wide, and it's safe. Make it 120km/h! One hundred and forty-two dollars and one demerit point later...

Side note: How many do P-platers have anyway?

My Blue Aura

Right, I've been thinking my car was looking a bit dull for a while now and really needed something to separate it from the rest of the cars on the roads. Santa obviously got my letter, and wrapped up some 12" Blue neon's for me. Cheers Santa!

Yup, righto, I hear you. Those people with under body neon's are the people who you want to ram off the road as they speed past you in their fully riced up lawnmower. I had no intention of putting them under my chassis though. To start with I'm too old to be lying on concrete, trying to find a way to secure plastic lights. So I opted to put them where only the best will see their glow – under the two front seats...

Before I even started I knew there would be three issues. First, you need power. Second, you need to be sure the power you've selected can light the neon's. Finally, the purpose of this is still to unsure driver and passenger safety, and lights inside the car while driving at night can be a distraction.

Thanks to a suggestion from Santa that I had already considered, the best place to mount them would be at the back of the front seats, so the spill is mainly behind the driver's vision, and not in front. And when I last cleaned the car (that makes a grand total of the number I've cleaned the inside of that car to one now) I found that the driver's seat belt sensor could be unplugged. And even better, it registered twelve volts on my "oh, not stolen" multimeter. This should be a piece of cake right?

Wrong. To start with, I connected the Molex connector with the wrong polarity. Words beginning with "f" spill from my mouth. I donno about you, but I assume when I see a red and a blue wire; the blue will be the ground of the two. And then, to my dismay, I realised the second of my possible problems had come true. Being only a seatbelt sensor, it hardly needed the three Watts (hee hee, I said "Watt") to see if I put my seatbelt on (which I always do, even when backing out of the drive... Habit...) and as such, only half lit the neon's.

Bitch whore...

So now I need to find twelve volts somewhere in my car. To the idiot who just said take it off the battery, I don't have any more than a meter of wire, and that's before I point out the safety issues...

Four hours later, I found a set of wires heading to the rear of the car. I hoped to take a little bit of power off the parking lights (so the neon's would come on when I turn the headlights on). It only took me fifteen minutes to find a set with power in it, and another fifteen to find a set with twelve volts...

Not quite sure what the set of wires I found does, but they are "always on," which leads me to believe they have something to do with the rear boot light (the switch for which is based in the boot, how simple). And considering my other set of lights hasn't blown up yet, this seemed a good a set as any to take power from.

Extend my wire to the centre console, attach a Molex connector, plug it in, and voila! Under seat neon's! Reassemble the car (I know I took mine apart doing this, but I found long lost coins totalling $10).

Now to tuck this all away neatly I removed the much useless ash tray to mount a switch built into a PCI backpane (can anyone guess by now where these neon's were designed for use?) and drilled a hole in the plastic of the console to mount it. Silly me made the hole a touch too big, so don't play with it if you are in the position to do so, or I'll make you fix it...

Driving at night is a breeze with these, and don't distract me at all. The hardest bit is remembering to turn them off, because they're not visible during the day and remain on even when the ignition is off.

Have some photos of the car, or better yet, come for a night time drive...

Riding Shotgun, Doggy Style...

A word of thanks

I probably should have updated this a week or so ago, but I have been that busy. Mostly trying to help people actually, stuff I don't actually have to do, but am because it makes me feel like a better person (and it delays before I actually have to write something.).

What amazes me though are the so very few people that say "thanks" and actually mean it. Sure, we all say it. I bring someone something at work and I have the polite "Thanks, James" but has this person actually realised the time and effort I went to do find the box?

Yesterday, however, I was surprised by the first person who said "thank you" and actually sounded like they cared for the effort I'd gone to to help them. I was a wet, cold, Melbourne evening, and I was on my way home from work. It was the second time in two days I'd been caught in the rain; this time however, was neither fun nor enjoyable. As I squelched my way of the tram with other travellers, a man down the street caught my eye. He was blind, and had clearly lost his way. Not one person stopped as they trundled past him, so I did.

As a result, it took me an extra forty minutes to get home. I become even wetter, and I knew that I now had no chance of not getting sick (at the moment I'm suffering with a sore throat). And when we arrived at his destination, I received the first thanks in weeks that sounded honest. He shook my hands, told me he could never thank me enough, and that he would repay the favour someday, if he ever has the chance. It wasn't what he said, but the way he said it.

And as a result I'd like to expand my list of words that have lost all meaning due to abuse because of today's society: "Love," "Sorry," and now "Thank you." I try always to only ever use these words when I honestly mean them, and I hope you'll do likewise.

There have been plenty of times that I can think of when "Sorry" might have fixed it, or "Love" might have had a laugh, or "Thanks" would have been custom; but I have refrained from saying it, cause it wasn't what I truly meant.

So what I have I done since my last update?

Well, quite obviously, I had exams. Lots of fun there... Not...

Actually, lunch before exams was kinda awesome, much better than a bread roll, though I don't think eating at a fancy restaurant on Southbank is the best way to revise for Enterprise Engineering... I packed in work wherever possible between exams and I'm making some money now. Well, until uni goes back at least. Money's kinda very handy at the moment, especially with the cost of petrol and our trip away to Jervis Bay.

Trip away was much needed, and I really am glad we went. Had a couple of walks along the beach, and got to see someone special graduate from the Navy. Dyed Al's hair... again... Lounged on the couch, the bed, the floor. Watched Al speed at 130km/h, and listened to Ken get angry at him. Photo's are on Facebook if you'd like to see them. Most are of Izzy marching, which was great to watch, but it does all start to look the same after a few minutes. :P

The Sunset Parade wasn't as loud as I was expecting. Yes, I know that it was loud, and I know that we were told it was going to be extremely loud, but I did actually expect more noise. So I didn't jump out of my skin, like some people did. But watching the whole thing is definitely something I'd watch again (which is why we watched it twice).

And the Passing Out Parade lived up to expectations of people passing out. I think it was five in total. Three honourable mentions here:

1. To the person behind the crunching noise at they hit the ground. It carried quite a distance, and although there was no blood, it was great to hear.
   
2. To the person who passed out, but remained standing. Never seen it before, and probably never will, but serious points for that.
   
3. To Izzy, for swaying, turning pale, and wanting to vomit. You looked like you were next to hit the deck the whole parade, but you stuck through.
   

Overall, I knew where I should have parked my car!

The Ball was... Actually... I don't think there's a word for it, and because I'm in the habit of making words at the moment, I think that the Ball was benourable. Which is sort of like endurable, but only if you knew a portion of the people there. I just spent my time following the one person who might know people, and there was people following me accordingly. We all left early, only because the Ball was starting to get a touch benourable, and we'd be having much more fun at home with movies, coke and vodka.

And then since getting back, I've been back working again, and having quite a few late nights. I'm exhausted, why do you people keep me up so late? (Yes, I want to be asleep at 3.30am). So I'm working on more money before uni goes back, I need to save for a trip away to Hawaii in September. And a new desktop. And just save in general. You can never have too much money saved.

And I got my results today. I'm actually quite impressed. My average would be a distinction, if you balance the high distinction and the credit out. I'm a touch disappointed in my score in Math, but to be fair I don't show any working, so maybe it was deserved. Biggest surprise was Enterprise Engineering, which I'm beginning to think that if I'd actually handed in one preliminary assignment (no, I didn't hand in a single one, they counted for a total of 15%) then my score would have been in the late 90's. So the one class I expected to fail I got a High Distinction in, and the one class I expected to do really well in, I didn't do as well as I thought.

And as much as I hate writing, I'll try to update the blog soon, but I need something to write about first...

Take care, talk soon.

The last thing I wrote for this post (Also known as a title)

So how many people have noticed a lot of my posts arriving on Tuesdays? It's probably because Tuesday is blog-post day!! Or more likely it's cause I'm in Physics lecture... I can listen and type at the same time... Really... Stop laughing, it's true!

Why are you posting this crap James? What's the purpose of this post?

Tell you the truth – I haven't figured it out yet... The title isn't even filled in yet...

Maybe I could just point out something I've noticed this month; like every single Wednesday, Thursday and Friday have been flat-out busy days. I've got up early, and gone to bed late, and been doing things all the time in the middle. This last week of May is no exception to the rule...

Speaking of last weeks, it's the last week of studies here at RMIT before we start SWOT VAC, then exams; so a lot of lecturers are wrapping things up or frantically trying to cram it in. While at the start of May my entire June was planned to be empty, except for four days with exams; it's now also packed, with exams interrupted by work, lots of work. This will be nice – because work equals money which can be directly converted to petrol, the quantity of which is inversely proportional to how much work I do. In other words, I'm working so I can fill up my car and get to work. The left over 5c I'll take with me on my trip away at the end of June.

Am I exaggerating? Not really. I just put $120 in my wallet to fill up my car this afternoon, and Tuesdays are (relatively) cheap and my car uses less petrol than a lawnmower. Which is definitely a good thing – my next car will be a Hybrid or something else eco-friendly, even if more expensive, and regardless of how much less power I'll get. I'm not interested in having a powerful, beefy (manly?) car if it means I'll need to take out a loan just to pay for petrol.

And who pours oil onto glass nowadays (see? I can pay attention to my Physics lecture)? Yes, I know that it's only theoretical, and yes I know we're using it to figure out the wavelength of light; but there are better ways of doing it than glass, oil, a ruler and a protractor.

It's amazing how little stationary you need for uni – all I have is one pen and a sharpie (which is only here cause you'll never know when you might need one). Maybe it's just cause I'm doing engineering, and it's all either on the computer (MAT-ha-LAB) or written in a lab book (consistent eights, interrupted by a nine, anyone?).

Well, if I ramble any longer then I'll be left here in the room alone after everyone leaves. Yes, it took me a whole hour to write all that. I'm slow and writing, and even when I know what I want to say, the words only dribble out. If I write fast then usually every other word is completely unrelated to the first, and sentences would just sound really shotty... Ok, maybe that one already did... Sigh...

Keep in touch people, hearing from you is always great; especially when I need the break from staring at my programming like a shit-chucking ape.

Skid Marks

Did the Skilled Drivers Course a few weekends ago... Lots and lots of fun.

About half the people there were there on court orders, the other half had had serious accidents and wanted to learn to be safer drivers. Everyone, including me, was there for the 10% discount.

The morning consisted of some theory (but you didn't have to take notes) of accidents and how they occurred, how they could have been prevented and other contributing factors. We discovered accidents could be narrowed down to one or more of three things:

• Driving too fast;
• Following the car ahead too closely;
• Lack in concentration.

For those of you who are going to try and kick up a fuss and claim something like alcohol ain't there, that falls under concentration...

Also catching up on news, school is speeding along, and now that we should have finished the coursework, we are doing our trial exams.

Setting up the exam tables was quite fun... Until I woke up the next morning and felt my shoulders.

Exams completed to date: 2 of 5.

• English, where we had to write four essays. I did: Part 1, Citizen Kane (I can tell stories!); Part 2, Inheritance (Toilet paper...); Analysis of language (I did quite well I thought); and a Point of View (where I got really pissy with sporting people as a whole... It was worth it...).
• Methods CAS Tech Active. I found this far easier than I thought I would, which is a good sign...

I might as well explain my trial exam policy... I believe the whole purpose of trial exams is NOT to study your ass off, so that you can find out what you don't know. That way, when you get them back, you know what you need to study in the coming weeks and you don't repeat yourself by studying the wrong things. You can focus in on the areas that require work...

I will study for one exam though, Electronics. We've already been given the exam we'll be tested on next week and it's now a race to see who can memorize the most correct answers... If you want to see how EASY this exam is, check out the box down the bottom... Really really easy...

Now I'm at school again on the weekend, doing this aerobics thing. They took a break for lunch, where I assumed I would get more CD's to play, as I had run out...

They tried to start again without me having any CD's... Boy, was that ever cut short. I felt sorry for the girl that was on stage waiting for people to provide me with a stack of CD's to play. I felt sorry for myself, having an entire audience stare at me waiting for me to do something. I just stood there...

And as I wrote that sentence a CD I was supposed to play wasn't there... Nothing I can do, someone ran up and provided me with the CD for that one, as well as the next one (which was also missing). Thanks to whomever you were, with your spindle full of matching CD's...

So I'm stuck here till late tonight (finish about 10:30, but running an hour or so late) watching all these fake-tanned, underage (ie. Too young for ANYONE who reads this blog, even you Matt), barbie dolls prance about in their tight fitting, almost non-existent leotards to music that has been mixed really badly... Anyone watched "Little Miss Sunshine?" This reminds me of that...

Scientific Journal?

Aim: To investigate the change in acceleration, speed and other driving practices after adding a full tank of petrol to my car.

Hypothesis: The car will feel heavier, have a slower acceleration in standard driving situations, have a greater acceleration when rolling freely down hills, have a higher responsiveness to the clutch and make James happy when he looks at the gauge.

Materials:

• Car, preferably mine;
• Money, preferably yours;
• Fuel Docket, makes it cheaper;
• Road, with or without traffic;
• Dead weight named Alastair.

Method:

• Drive car until almost empty of petrol, get a 'feel' for it.
• Visit petrol station, park next to empty unleaded pump.
• Swear continuously while trying to remove the petrol cap (It's a bitch, ain't it?).
• Fill up tank.
• Pay for petrol.
• Replace cap.
• Drive the car out of petrol station.
• Run car through a number of scenarios to test its 'feel' compared to before the tank was filled with petrol.
• Stop driving like an idiot and go home
  

Results:

• Car is distinctly heaver.
• Engine revolutions are far lower than before.
• Car is harder to accelerate.
  

Conclusion: The car is feels heavier due to the quantity of petrol filled in the car. Because petrol is slightly less dense than water, and I filled the car with 41 litres, I expect that the car has had 40 kilograms added to the weight of the car. It should be noted that in pre-testing the car had 80 kg of weight added to it yet no noted weight gain could be felt. This could be because Alastair sits in the front passenger seat, where the petrol resides at the very rear of the car. As the car is a front wheel drive, the car would have to be doing a greater amount of pulling to the petrol than to Alastair, who resides almost on top of the engine (he has long legs). This means that the car is pushing Alastair, where it is pulling the petrol. This is why a greater weight could be felt with the added petrol.

Adding petrol is a contributing factor for acceleration from a stopped position in two separate ways. The car was also noticed to have a far lower engine revolution with the added petrol. While an explanation for this is not known, it makes the car much more likely to stall when accelerating away from a stopped position. Also, the added weight of the petrol will slow the cars acceleration. This acceleration is the most noticeable difference in the movement of the car.

On a downward slope, the car is much faster to accelerate when the clutch is placed in (the equivalent of placing a car on wheels, with no engine). This is obviously due to the added weight of the car, as the same experience can be duplicated by adding my dead weight (Alastair).

It should be noted that my hypothesis was completely correct, except for it's higher responsiveness to the clutch. The car is clearly more possessed when filled with petrol, this could be because all the dinosaurs don't like being in liquid form. Due to these observations, it is clear that the car uses less petrol when it has a full tank, mainly due to the lower engine revolutions. It is also clear, that I prefer a full tank of petrol.

People are welcome to duplicate this experiment by filling my car with petrol; I will gladly accept all the petrol you want to give me to continue gathering results for this ongoing experiment. Government funding will also be accepted.

EDIT: Al ain't as fat as I first thought he was... All you potential partners should know he's actually 75kg...

140,000 km old.

So today, sitting at the lights to turn onto Springvale Road, I look at my car's odometer...

The poor little thing just turned 140,000 km.

Also, you can see that I'm about to turn my 200^th km while driving on my P's.

Congratulations, Little Laser, we've got a hell of a distance to go yet!

Probationary...

Well I had my driving test today; I passed with only one mistake!

So now I have my new piece of plastic for my wallet. They let me keep the old license, but it has a hole in it... I could have sold it to someone who looks like me otherwise. I still could. Reckon I could find someone who looks like me and is really stupid? (I can hear your laughter from here...).

Also, the car has been transferred to my name, which means I own the car I drive around in. So if you see my little Ford Laser 1995 zipping down the streets down forget to wave, cause that's me behind the wheel!

As a result of all this stuff, I missed out on school today. This also means I missed out on one Chemistry and one Methods SAC... Oh well, do you really think I care? At least I have an English SAC tomorrow to do instead.

Finally, I plan on driving on the footpaths, my car is small enough and it has less traffic, so I recommend you start walking on the road, for your own safety...

Circles

Back from Canberra.

Went and saw heaps of things, some I'd probably never go and see again. Canberra tries to be a touristy town (yes, town, it's too small to be a city) and is designed for either the 4-12 group or the 50+ group.

The reason why the 50+ would like it is because peak hour traffic is less busy than Springvale Road at 1am. Though it might be because all the drivers are lost instead. Signs are either too vague or non-existent, but there isn't a shortage of them. Signs with "City" on them are written everywhere but all seem to point in a different direction... It's probably because Canberra doesn't have a set "City" to point at, and just guesses where one might develop in the future. I blame its "radial design" where it's easy to get to the middle, but impossible to go around the outside.

The "planned city" has suburbs spread unusually wide and you'll often find yourself driving though bushland just to get to the equivalent of Mentone.

And I didn't see any of the Parliament Houses, not that I think they would have been interesting, just I think they might have given me an idea as to how to vote at the end of the year!

And if you're looking for a tractor, Canberra has plenty of advertisements on TV for you to keep your eye on...

But it's not all bad, you just need to get used to complaining but not actually doing anything about it. Matt, we've found the town for you!

Happy Birthday!!!

I turned eighteen today! At noon if you want to be more precise, so I'm eighteen and six hours at the time of writing. Don't really know what to say other than that except "Yay for me!"

I've been writing eighteen a lot more than 18 (cept for when I'm in a rush) because it has a special feel to it... I donno, maybe I'm just crazy...

List of presents? Sure!
From Dad: Indiana Jones box set (It's not a laptop though, still annoyed about that)
From Grandma and Grandpa (Mum's side): One of those outdoor chairs that folds up with a stubby holder in it.
From Michelle (Sister): Shirt and shorts, plus a nifty looking Tiki necklace :P
Other relatives from the US: Phone calls and cards to make sure that I know that they haven't forgotten about me.
From Mum and Michael: Bledisloe Cup tickets in really good seats, a BBQ (cos I was about to throw the pan out the window), Poster, Advanced driving course (so I become a 'safer' driver) and some workspace hazard tools (witches hats and 'DO NOT CROSS' tape for the desk).
From Hawley: Roger Waters tickets, even if it was a couple of months ago, still awesome!
And from Izzy: Well, a CD a guess, but she keeps forgetting :P (anytime is fine by me) (or maybe I just haven't looked under my pillow yet :P) and also her love (soppy... :P)

If you haven't got me anything yet, don't feel bad, I haven't actually had a party yet to warrant the need to presents. But I have had heaps of Birthday messages on my phone, thanks to all!

The reason for no party? Everyone is flat out with study for exams and SAC's and such, including me! So it makes more sense to have one when things have calmed down... like perhaps at the start or end of the holidays (I'll try to avoid the middle, most people go away).

Should this party have some sort of theme or something? That's your decision, I'm happy to do whatever so if you guys want a pirate party or something suggest it to me and I'll see what others think.

Going for my license on the 31st May. It was the closest date they had to my b'day in February when i booked it. Suggestion to those who haven't booked it yet: book now if you want it close to the day!

Finally, leaving you with something I thought of today: Eighteen, same as Seventeen, only legal!

Black Spur

School starts on Monday... Yay for me! (Heavily lined with sarcasm).

We did something different for Australia Day (26th of January) this year and head up to visit some friends in Buxton (Past Healesville) which meant driving though the Black Spur... and I was driving. The Black Spur is a narrow road, on the side of the mountain, which has incredibly tight turns and is uphill the whole way (depending on your direction, of course). Those yellow signs warning you of a bend in the road and post an advisory speed limit, which on most roads you can exceed with ease; but not on the Black Spur... When is says 25km/h it means 25km/h, and not a single kilometer over it.

I was heading up the road at a safe speed and taking the corners at the posted limit... even then you could feel the G forces pushing you to the side of the car... hard! At the irregular straight stretches I would speed up to get that extra power for going uphill (in my 1996 Ford Laser). But this wasn't fast enough for some.

A red car was right on my tail the whole time, and I didn't want to speed up for him because the road was just too dangerous... Tough shit, he can wait behind me (because the whole road is just too bloody dangerous to overtake anything, have I told you that yet?). Red car makes the move to pass, accelerates but a silver car in the other lane comes from around the corner ahead.

At the rate of speed that we were both travelling there was no way he could have make it ahead of me... James brakes, red car makes it though... by a mere meter. If I hadn't braked there would have easily been a head-on collision at 120km/h (60km/h + 60 km/h = 120km/h) with the two cars, the driver and passengers of both the red and silver cars would be dead, the people in the car immediately tail-gating the silver one would be a serious condition, as well as the people in the car tail-gating that one (you should have seen them slam their brakes on), the collision would have extended onto our lane and I would be either in the hospital or the morgue today and my the rest of family would be in hospital too... and we would inconvenienced hundred's of people heading out for Australia day, as both lanes would have been blocked for hours.

But that didn't happen... Yay for me! (Without the sarcasm this time).

It reminds us all to be a little more careful when driving on the roads and be aware of the conditions...

Or not... the Porsche Boxster behind originally behind the red car passed me seconds after the above incident. Some people don't learn from other's mistakes and have to make them themselves...