Energy Drink

Today on James' Kitchen we'll be making the energy drink he uses to keep himself awake, alive, entertained, or just plain energetic. In fact, there's probably enough energy in one drink to power all Australian homes for a day, so by drinking one, you better have something planned to do. Interestingly, this drink contains absolutely NO harmful drugs (James takes them separately), like caffeine, alcohol, or guarana that are commonly found in so called "energy drinks" such as Red Bull, V, or coffee...

Let's pick a few nasty names from those "energy drinks" and see how bad I can make them sound (while keeping to 99% fact...);

Taurine (found in Red Bull and V) is a conditionally essential "amino acid." I put "amino acid" in quotes because I'm simply quoting the Red Bull website on that, yet Taurine lacks a carboxyl group to be properly called an amino acid. It was named from Latin Taurus, meaning bull or ox, as it was first extracted from ox bile in 1827. Also, despite its presence in energy drinks, Taurine has not been shown to be energy-giving.

Glucuronolactone (found in Red Bull and V), also known as (2R)-2-[(2S,3R,4S)-3,4-Dihydroxy-5-oxo-tetrahydrofuran-2-yl]-2-hydroxy-acetaldehyde, "has received some notoriety... that it was a Vietnam War-era drug manufactured by the American government." Also worth mentioning is that "it was banned due to several brain tumour-related deaths." Scary huh?

I'm sure you already know all the hype about caffeine being bad for you, so I'll just skip over that one and you can imagine all the bad things I've just said.

Acesulfame K, found in Red Bull (and probably V, couldn't get a proper ingredient list for them), is one of those artificial sweetener doodads, and you all tell me off for drinking Diet Coke cause it has fake sugar in it so RIGHT BACK AT YA!!! Only this is found in all of Red Bull products, not just the "light" version. It's so dangerous that Kraft Foods had to add another chemical to its products to mask the damage that Acesulfame K did (to your tastebuds...). It has also been noticed that the "chemical has not been studied adequately and may be carcinogenic."

Sucralose, sounding like sucrose, but it's not, so there, is also an additive to Red Bull and V. To quote Wikipedia straight for this one

"Concerns have been raised about the effect of sucralose on the thymus, an organ that is important to the immune system. A report from NICNAS cites two studies on rats, both of which found "a significant decrease in mean thymus weight" at a certain dose."

The certain dose stated is calculated to be similar to the quantity that Luke drinks Red Bull at, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't worry as "some ingested sucralose is broken down and absorbed by the body there is concern that chronic consumption may lead to thymus shrinkage or other side-effects."

Now that I've told you the nasty parts of the other drinks, you can drink mine instead, knowing that you're probably safe (that all depends on how you make it really).

You will need:

1. A mixer blender thingo... I use a milkshake maker and it works... Just...
2. A cup with can withstand freezing (i.e. the condensation on the cup I use FREEZES... That's how much energy this drink sucks up from the environment... Cool huh?).
3. About 30mL of Milk (yup, that's all).
4. Half a tin of Milo (size of the tin depends on how much energy you require).
5. Chocolate Ice-cream... The DARK chocolate ice-cream... You know the stuff...
6. Chocolate syrup... To taste...
7. Sugar (optional).

Instructions:

1. Put about 10mL of milk at the bottom of the cup; this is to prevent the Milo getting stuck down the bottom.
2. Scoop Ice-cream in small scoops into the cup, large chunks means you might blow the motor. Don't be shy, use lots!!!
3. Pour Milo in (note: I said pour, not scoop; that means use LOTS).
4. Add sugar (optional).
5. Add remaining Milk, if it will fit, to give the mixer an attempt at a chance of working in the future.
6. Stick on the mixer thing and start. You'll hear it struggle, this is normal; it will spin a little faster once the ice-cream has been whipped to hell.
7. Take off; add Chocolate Syrup until mix is getting close to the edge of cup.
8. Mix again; stand back in case it goes over the edge...
9. When you can smell the motor smoking, it's finished and you can drink it off to drink it. Tastes best straight off the mixer.

Warning: Consistency is far thicker than Hungry Jack or McDonald's thickshakes, so tipping it towards your mouth may not produce any results... If this is the case, try blending it again. If that fails, buy a new blender and invest in blender shares...

Warning: Do not drink, then forget to exercise, the energy contained in the drink may make you fat in a matter of seconds...

Warning: Do not allow parents to watch you make this, they will kill you. Do not allow pets to consume the substance, as it's probably an aphrodisiac...

Yes, I actually drink that by the way... Tastes good... Like Chocolate...

Tune in next time for something else crazy!!! That's what I'm here for!!!